Alright folks, buckle up because my latest obsession totally ate my weekend, and honestly? My wallet’s weeping. It started simple enough. I saw these insane fantasy costume pics online, you know, like something out of an anime or video game, and my brain went “gotta make that”. Big mistake. Huge.
The Whole Cosplay Rabbit Hole
So, Friday night rolls around. Beer in hand, I’m scrolling mindlessly. Then BAM! I see this wild armored shoulder piece look. It looked kinda steampunk, kinda fantasy knight. Super cool, kinda complicated. That was the hook. I immediately jumped on my laptop, searched for something similar, found a million impossible designs, and decided “How hard could it be?” Famous last words.
First step: materials. My place isn’t exactly a workshop. I tore through my closet like a tornado. Found an old leather jacket I never wear anymore – sacrifice accepted. Dug out some thin cardboard boxes from recycling – future armor, baby! Rummaged through the junk drawer: silver duct tape (essential!), random buckles off old bags, a half-empty bottle of super glue that might be fossilized, and some cheap acrylic paints. Ready? Nope.
When Reality Hits Like a Foam Sword
Saturday morning, coffee fueled, optimism high. I sketched the shoulder piece roughly on the cardboard. Cut it out. Looked wonky. Cut again. Still wonky. Third time sorta worked. Then came the “leather”. Chopped a sleeve off the jacket. Tried stretching it over the cardboard base. Ripped it. Cursed. Cut a bigger piece. Taped it roughly to the back. Looked terrible. More cursing.
Time for armor plating illusion. Grabbed the silver duct tape. Started wrapping it around the leather-covered cardboard. Got sticky fingers instantly. Tape kept folding on itself. Had to redo sections. Got halfway through and ran out of tape. Of course. Had to run to the dollar store, threw cash at more tape and, why not, some cheap silver spray paint and green fabric scraps. Because fantasy! Got home, finished the taping. It looked like a robot reject from a kindergarten craft project. Spray painted it anyway. Made a huge mess on the balcony. Paint dried lumpy. Awesome.
Attaching buckles? Super glue time. That old glue was awful. Squeezed hard… and glued the nozzle shut permanently. Had to pry it open. Glue got everywhere. Glued my fingers together. Twice. Peeling that off? Not fun. Finally got two buckles semi-attached with whatever glue would cooperate. Straps? Cut up an old belt. Tried securing it. Kept slipping off. Realized I needed an actual strap, like webbing. Didn’t have any. Gave up for the day. Pizza box therapy commenced.
The “Salvage Operation” Phase
Sunday. Looked at yesterday’s monstrosity. Felt shame. But also stubbornness. Decided the tape armor was garbage. Scraped most of it off. Messy. Found the green fabric I bought. Roughly draped it over the base piece, kind of like a tattered cloak over armor. Stapled it wildly underneath – craft staples to the rescue! Looked ragged. Actually… kinda cool?
Had a brainwave for the armor look. Used some thick grey felt from an ancient kid’s project. Cut it into rough overlapping scales. Hot glued them onto the remaining cardboard bits. Way easier than tape! Looked like… passable lizard armor? Hit the scales with the leftover silver spray paint. Dry brushed on some black paint for grime. Suddenly, it wasn’t total garbage! The buckles actually held the scrap belt straps. Threw the whole thing on my shoulder. It sorta stayed! Didn’t look anything like the inspo pic, but looked like something belonged in a fantasy swamp battle. Called it a win. Took pics looking like a proud doofus.
So yeah. Spent two days, glued my fingers, wasted tape, inhaled paint fumes, and made one semi-okay shoulder piece. Worth it? For the ridiculous story and the slightly cool, grimy end result? Yeah, kinda. Would I do it again? Ask me next weekend after my fingers heal.
