Alright so today I wanted to figure out who’s gonna start for United and City this weekend. Grabbed my coffee first thing, obviously. Can’t think straight before coffee.
Where I Started
Just dove straight into the news sites. All the usual ones. Sky Sports, BBC Sport, that one local Manchester reporter everyone kinda trusts. Big mistake. Right away it’s chaos.
One guy swears Rashford’s fit. Next site says he limped outta training. Another claims Ten Hag is gonna drop him anyway for being lazy. What a mess. Nobody agrees on anything. You’d think it’s rocket science predicting who runs onto a grass field.
My Predictions Disaster
Tried making my own list. Here’s how that went down:
- First, United’s defense: Martinez still out? Lindelof feeling sick yesterday? Nobody gives a damn update. Just rumors flying everywhere.
- Midfield headache: Is Mainoo really gonna start a derby? Kid’s good but come on. Then that lazy jerk Mount might be fit? Or not? Who knows.
- City side wasn’t much better: Pep does his tinkering. Probably starts Rico Lewis left-back just for funsies. Or Stones in midfield. Always playing puzzle games.
Felt like I needed a crystal ball or some magic tea leaves. Every site just kept rehashing old news or making wild guesses. “Pep might rest Haaland” – oh yeah, right before United? Pull the other one.
The Absolute Worst Part
The real kicker? Trying to figure out Ten Hag’s mood. Is he gonna be mad after the Chelsea game? Pick a fight? Bench Bruno to prove a point? Maybe throw Antony on for laughs? Then Pep just smirks and drops some random academy kid in.
Spent hours digging. Honestly felt like I was wrestling smoke. Wrote down one starting eleven… scratched it out… wrote another… ripped the paper. Total headache. Even called Dave from the pub who thinks he knows stuff. He said “just copy last week’s team”, but nah, it’s Pep.
Finally Just Gave Up
Looked at my final predicted list. Made sense for about five minutes. Then I saw some rumor on Twitter that Walker pulled a muscle carrying shopping bags or something stupid. What am I supposed to do with that?
Threw my hands up. Published my “prediction” with like seven question marks next to it. Added in bold: “Probably ALL WRONG”. Then I slammed the laptop shut and went to eat biscuits. Some days this job feels impossible. Half the team’s injured, other half’s outta form, managers play mind games… you guess one thing, reality does another.
Maybe tomorrow someone leaks the lineup. Maybe not. Either way, gonna need more coffee. Done with predictions for today. What a mess.
